However, not every thought stayed in California; in particular, one question that traveled with me burned ever more brightly in my mind as time passed: what do I really know? The root of this question lay not in a lack of self-confidence but rather in the realization that the more I learn about the world around me, the more I’m reminded of my own ignorance. Uncovering mysteries of the ocean revealed dozens of new unanswered questions. Visiting new islands and peoples added layers of complexity to my understanding of the world as I tried to accustom to new surroundings and culture shock. Every lesson I learned about ship handling taught me that there are always more lessons to learn. I began to wonder if I would ever feel like I knew what I was doing if every clarification led to more confusion.
The more I thought about it, the more I came to terms with the fact that being in a state of constant confusion isn’t inherently a bad thing. If anything, feeling disoriented isn’t an indicator of failure; it’s an indicator of an eagerness to absorb and discover. My bewilderment stems from my refusal to stop questioning everything I see around me, and from my unwillingness to admit that I am truly knowledgeable about anything.
The process leading to this recognition encompassed the entirety of my journey at sea as I struggled day and night with the idea that I wasn’t meeting some sort of intangible expectation. At some point I stopped interpreting these feelings as signs of shortcomings and merely observed them as they came and went. Instead of guilting myself into thinking that I should have a better understanding of something, I prided myself on my desire to learn more and improve. In my longing to better understand the world, I came to understand myself better. And what more could I hope for? I’ll never truly understand all the complexities that make the world what it is, but I can come to understand my own place and way of interacting with the world.
Stanford@SEA contributed to my internal growth by helping me come to another important realization about myself: I need people in my life, and I need to tell them that. As I said my goodbyes to fellow shipmates and crew members at the dock in American Samoa, I was struck by how each and every one of them positively impacted me in more ways than one throughout our journey together. I’ve never felt more fortunate to have been around such a group of compassionate, hard-working and goofy individuals. And the timeliness couldn’t have been better – my Winter quarter proved to be one of the most difficult three months of my life, as I learned was true of many of the friends I made on this voyage. I never properly expressed how much I needed their companionship and support, so I hope this will do. Thank you for uplifting me. Thank you for inspiring me. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for putting up with me, despite my incessant need to make bad jokes and puns. Thank you for making this voyage one I will remember with nostalgic fondness and melancholy. If that wasn’t enough, hopefully I can thank you all with one final song you’ve all come to love (or hate) me for.
-Daniel Jacobson
Ballad of the Robert C. Seamans (to the tune of Piano Man)
(sick harmonica / piano duo)
‘Twas 11 o’clock on a Saturday
Irregular crowd shuffled through
Friends and strangers stood next to me
Beginnings of a rough n’ ready crew
They said, “Welcome aboard the Bobby C!
Forget everything that you know
We’re to set sail across the deep blue sea
Anchors away and get down below!”
Sail us away O Seamans!
Sail us away tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for an ocean breeze
And you’ve got us feeling water-tight
Now Chris at the helm is a captain fine
He got us to Iles-Maria with ease
With its corals aplenty, a beauty worth envy
Oh there’s no place that I’d rather be
I said, “Megan this journey is thrilling me!”
As I stood lookout in her stead
She said “I’m sure glad you’re having a blast,
But did you see the lightning dead ahead?”
Now the journey to Palmerston was strenuous
The winds howled forty knots with might
Under the care of B watch, three sails they did botch
We motored the rest of the night
And Tongatapu it was marvelous!
As Alema inspired a crowd
Yes they’re sharing a moment called companionship
I don’t think I could be more proud
Sail us away O Seamans!
Sail us away tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for an ocean breeze
And you’ve got us feeling water-tight
It’s a pretty good crew for a Thursday
As Barbara Block gives us a smile
Cuz she knows that the journey’s come to an end
And we won’t see each other for a while
And Samoa it looked so beautiful
And the harbor it smelled like fish
And we stood in a circle and held on to each other
And it fulfilled our every last wish
Sail us away O Seamans!
Sail us away tonight
Well we’re all in the mood for an ocean breeze
And you’ve got us feeling water-tight
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